he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Randomize
