I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i believe in u and ur pee
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
