I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
