Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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