I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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