I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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