Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
