Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
