so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
