I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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