I'm going to jail i love you
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
