Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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