that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
