Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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