drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
