no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
