Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Do vagina's smell?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
