He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
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