Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He did a backflip because drugs
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
