You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
