He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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