I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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