i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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