Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
