Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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