How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
