so explain again why im purple
no
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
