Sry I called you an 8
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
