On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
