Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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