she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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