I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
