i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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