You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
do nipples grow back?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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