Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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