sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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