i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he's gonorrhea incarnate
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
