No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
