she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
