She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
