i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
