Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
