my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
