Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
