if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You are a genius and a whore.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
