i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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