Define "chronic" masturbator.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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