I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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