wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
