$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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