I wannas sexs uuuuu
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
