Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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