There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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