Jerry, you need to find god
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
