my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
