im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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