That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
