Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize